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Health & Fitness

Santa Ignored our Christmas Wish List

South Medford's Christmas Wish List to Santa asked for peace, harmony, freedom from want and a decent quality of life.  Our neighborhood must have been on Santa’s Naughty List this year, given what Santa and his Elves hid for us behind the very long and six foot tall white fence.  

We were disappointed last week when one of Santa's Elves left his worn out tire on our sidewalk, then ran off wearing his gold top hat to party in the bars of Somerville.  We didn't realize it was a foreshadow of what Christmas Eve would bring to us.

We are really sad after finding our Christmas "gifts' today and are hoping that Santa doesn't leave any similar surprises for us on New Years Eve.

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Its unfortunate, but we just don't quite appreciate the "gifts" Santa left in our corner of Medford and would like to tell Santa and his Elves, "You shouldn't have!  No, really, you shouldn't have. PLEASE!  NO!  STOP!" 

It took a while to gather all the Christmas "presents", as they were spread out and covered the forty parking spaces next to our homes.  We filled two trash bags with  the "gifts" within an hour and ripped a hazmat suit during the process.

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Santa and his Not-So-Nice Elves left "gifts" of 18 assorted beer bottles, sans beer and 4 full bottles of Bud Light Lime. We found an empty Villa Antinori wine bottle, a half-gallon handle of Captain Morgan’s, minus the rum, lots of Gatorade bottles, Red Bull cans and Capri juice bags. 

We also received a second hand Poland Springs Bottle Bong, two #2 stuffed Pampers diapers, one used Trojan condom along with its distinctive foil cover, dozens of dirty Dunkin Donuts styrafoan cups & covers, several greasy paper pizza pie plates, a hardened cheesy pizza box, a bunch of crushed shipping boxes and balls of wrapping paper.  Nips, yeah, lots of nips and vodka juice paks.

Santa must have been feeling devilish because he delivered scads of castoff loser scratch tickets, a mountain of lollipop sticks, one half eaten meatball sub, the remains of six McDonald’s burgers, heaps of food wrappers, piles of disintegrated globs of Kleenex, many worn out blue plastic work gloves, a stack of plastic tooth flossing swords, and about a thousand cigarette butts.  We found Santa left us a piece of rusted chain, a cinder block and a rain jacket.  Santa, you shouldn't have!

Oh wait…Rudolph and the other Reindeers left their 'presents' for us too….or maybe it was from the puppies they had in Santa’s sleigh, the mounds of waste always look the same after a while.

Santa and his Not-So-Nice Elves were very mean to South Medford and we hope that we don't find more "gifts" after New Years Eve.

Seriously Folks, please use the trash barrels provided by the City of Mdford after visiting Bocelli's, Oasis, and other Main Street businesses.  Drink and party in the safety of your own home, not in the public lot next to our homes where our familis and small children live.  The neighbors would greatly apprecite your support in keeping our area clean and safe for our families and visitors to the local Main Street business area.  

Please observe the posted street signs, park only in the designated spaces in the pubic lot and on the street next to the public lot. Most on-street parking is by permit only, but public parking is permitted along the stretch of street next to the public lot.  The crosswalk is not a parking space, nor is the wheel chair ramp.  Both areas are meant to remain open for public safety purposes.

Our homeowners ask that our many neighbors avoid parking on or next to the white fence, as it is not public property, nor is it maintained by the City of Medford.  Repairs made to the fence from damage done by errant drivers are expensive and an unwelcome burden to your fellow Medford residents.  

Thank you for your support.

Happy New Year Medford!  

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